Wednesday 20 May 2009

CALL ME DEVIL

Dear Diary,

Another year has passed and yet I feel strangely optimistic about the path that my dreams and ambitions are starting to travel along. Yes, life is such a cruel master. I feel one thing and yet I know another to be true. Why must I suffer with this wretched duality?!?! Talking of masters, my master was born on the fifth of the first month and he is a very cruel master to be sure. He banished me from my home and made me walk the lonely, cursed earth for more than fifty thousand years. Anyway, enough of the past, let's look to the future. My new course is oddly delightful. I hate most of the people on it, and I think most of them hate me too, but I do love to stare at the whiteboard whilst pretending to think. It gives me great joy knowing that my tutor believes me to be much smarter than I really am.

All of this deception has left me feeling somewhat confused, dear Diary. What should I do? Keep pretending to know what I'm talking about or stand up and implode into a small mutant army of red demons who have the power to brainwash willing human flesh and take over your blue planet? I've been pondering this dilemma for quite some time now. I've consulted friends, lovers (too many to mention, too few to cut deep), astrologers, kings, queens, and even the Pope himself. Again, chaos rears its vicious head. Many say keep on pretending, others say let the implosion prevail. I'm just so confused. Is this what I really want????

Anyway, today's class was actually mildly interesting. We learnt about the unconscious and this thing called the paradigm. It was probably all bullshit but I felt I gave one of my best class performances to date. When the tutor asked me to define the difference between dreams and reality, instead of giving a straight forward, human-like answer, I grimaced, nodded my head to the left, pointed to my nose and said "it's each man to their own device, my learned friend." The tutor gave me a knowing look and placed a red handkerchief on his brow. I believe he thinks my IQ is somewhere in the region of 173 to 180. A good day's work! Thanks, dear Diary. I sometimes feel like you're the only one who really listens to me :-(

No comments: