THE AXL ROSE SPAGHETTI SUCKING CHALLENGE

After ten long years in the making, Guns n' Roses' latest album, Chinese Democracy, has finally leaked onto the web. To celebrate this momentous occassion, lead singer, Axl Rose, has pledged to dedicate the next ten years of his life to an entirely different sort of creative endeavour. The daredevil rocker has stunned fans by announcing on the band's website that he wants to break the world record for the longest amount of time taken to eat a single, solitary string of spaghetti.

The current record, held by eighty-five year-old Romanian fisherman, Iorghu Gheorghu, stands at an incredible nine years, four months, fifteen days, twenty-two hours, twelve minutes and thirty-one seconds. At a recent Ukrainian Spaghetti sucking convention, Gheorghu had these words of encouragement for the rock n' rolling pretender to his throne: "Mark my words, he will fail laughing in his own vomit!"

With the length of spaghetti currently measured at thirty-three and one third centimetres, Rose will have to get through less than one fifth of a millimetre per day if he's to stand any chance of breaking the record. When asked why he wanted to undertake this peculiar challenge, Rose replied: "Spaghetti is my muse, my lover, my passion and my curse. Without it civilisation would have been eradicted many years ago. I need this! I fucking need this! Get over it, bitch!"

The Floating Banana Chronicles will be there every step of the way on Axl's sucktacular journey, bringing up to the minute news as it happens. Reporting from Karachi, Pakistan, this is Jonas Salamander for T.F.B.C.